Out With The 18s

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clothes too bigThis morning, I decided to tackle my wardrobe. A task I’ve been putting off for aaaages.

I hate my wardrobe. It’s a hot mess of clothes ranging from size: skinny to size: omg. The actual ‘things-I-can-currently-wear’ section of clothes counts for about 0.001%.

It’s tough getting dressed with a dysfunctional wardrobe when you are not happy with your size. Smaller clothes are a constant nagging reminder of what you are not. I’ve been telling myself for years that I was going to slim back into it all. And, because I’ve held on to that false promise for far too long (until now) I’ve also been reluctant to buy anything bigger. I’ve simply gotten by with the bare minimum required.

There are those super-duper orderly housekeeping mavens that tell you to ditch what you don’t wear and colour-co-ordinate your sweaters from your capri pants, yada yada yada. Yikes, if I did that the hangers would be rattling around all on their lonesome.

I didn’t want to ditch my skinny clothes, because it’s tough enough getting dressed when you feel like crap. Throwing away your favourite pieces is like admitting defeat in that you will never be there again.

Only, now I have another category to my wardrobe – clothes that are too BIG.

So I did the exact reverse. I bit the bullet and pulled out all my fat-girl clothes.

It was exactly what I needed to do. A kick in the tush saying “giiiirl, it’s now time to up your game and get your butt back into shape and into those clothes.” There. Is. No. Going. Back.

As I was swapping everything out I came across a “secret stash” of clothes I had hidden in the back of my wardrobe. My honeymoon clothes!

The weight I was then, isn’t the weight I want to be now. I want to be smaller… but my honeymoon was after a weight loss journey and I remember that feeling of pulling on smaller sizes AND being able to do them up. It’s mostly a mix of size 10s and 12s.

That might sound big to some of you, and that’s fine. I am 5’7″ and not a small built person. I have hips and I’m curvy. I will probably never in my life be a size 6. Heck, I don’t WANT to be that small. I will be damn happy with size 10.

Why on earth I kept all these clothes, I have no idea. I guess I just like a challenge.
My goal is to lose 50 lbs. I know, that sounds like a lot. It is. Just typing it depresses me, but I’m going to do it regardless of how hard it is.

In other news, I made skinny cookies last night and they were delicious!

My kids even liked them!

Until next time…

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!


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  1. Michele says

    Natalie, I can so identify with this right now. Next week I turn 40 and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I refuse to buy any new clothes as not only do I hate how they look on me now I’m heavier but I refuse to spend good money on tents and/ or clothes I don’t intend on wearing longer term (like you , I am adamant I want to lose weight). That being said, I never do anything about it and I’m presently swapping between wearing one pair of jeans and about 3 pairs of black leggings! This year I’ve GOT to do something about it. My diet isn’t poor. I think I just need to exercise more. Good luck! Michele x

    • Natalie says

      Michelle, I have battled this for years. Every New Year, I’d set a weight loss resolution, then fail by mid-January at the latest. I don’t know why this year was different – something just snapped! I don’t want to spend another summer in big clothes, unhappy. Have you ever kept a food journal? They are a real eye-opener!

  2. says

    Natalie I LOVED this post! I *just* cleaned out my closet Tuesday, and I’m at that awkward place of not where I want to be, but better than I was. There’s more to do, but I have goals! And my closet now has room to show for the excess weight I’ve dropped! :)

    Good luck to you girl! You’re awesome!

  3. says

    Congratulations on tackling such a massive (and scary) task! My wardrobe is also filled with a variety of sizes, many of which I just can’t bring myself to get rid of just yet. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s given me inspiration to start going through the dump which is my wardrobe!

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